Self Care

Self-Care Simplified

Self-care is more than a trend or catch-phrase. It's an important part of our emotional and physical wellbeing. The conversation around the importance of mental health being equally as important as physical health is growing Yet, we continue to make time for and prioritize just our physical needs: doctor’s appointments, diet, medication regiment, etc. There is a give and take between the two, when you physically feel healthier, you tend to emotionally feel healthier and vice versa. So, let’s make time for the emotional self-care as well.

 

  • What are things that make you smile? Relax? Belly laugh? Feel accomplished?

  • Write them down!

  • Categorize: What is a self-care activity you can do in 5 minutes? 15 minutes? On occasion an hour?

Find that 5 minutes (or 15, or 30, etc.) in your day!

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Just Being

I think many of us struggle with the belief that we are not good enough. Our society and our brains themselves often guide us towards making comparisons between ourselves and others or even between our actual selves and some idealized version of ourselves. More times than not, these comparisons result in one of two things. We either find ourselves to be less than or better than in some way, and neither of these results tend to be productive for us. Our sense of value and worth may get tied up in external validation and in the belief that we have to do certain things or have certain things in order to be enough.

 

I heard someone say recently, “We are human beings, not human doings.” I think it’s important to remember this idea and to know that we are each so much more than a list of things we do or a list of accomplishments. We are more than a degree, more than a job, more than a hobby, and more than any single one of the roles we take on in our lives.

 

I believe in positive affirmations and being intentional in what we surround ourselves with and what we say to ourselves. Because of this, I have my own bathroom mirror covered in phrases and quotes that are meaningful to me. One of my favorites says, “I’ve decided that I’m good enough.” I remind myself of this often, and hope for you to do the same, knowing that no matter what we are doing, we are enough and have worth and value just because we are. Being alone is enough.

 

Give yourself some time this week to just be. Take a few deep breaths in and out, and know that you are enough!

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Loving Yourself

In the relationship conversation, the Five Love Languages is a hot topic, rightfully so. It is important to understand how one speaks/understands love in order to actually feel and receive that love. Why then, do we not consider this in terms of loving ourselves?

 

When the focus is on a duo, the tendency is to ask how each person is meeting the other’s needs. Often times when the responsibility is given to another person, our attention turns elsewhere. We’ve forgotten how to love ourselves. Similar to the concept of self-care, self-love should be another priority of yours, whether part of a duo or not. 

 

So, what is your love language, and how have you shown yourself love today? If you have not, consider reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. And, explore the ways in which you can meet your own needs first. It is widely quoted, “You cannot pour from an empty cup,” so let’s fill yours up first.

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A Reminder About Love

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, the topic of love is in the air. Heart shaped boxes filled with chocolate and cards with “Love” scrolled across the front are everywhere. We’re reminded to tell that special someone in our life just how we feel about them and to spread Valentine’s to all our loved ones.

 

I love the idea of taking time to be intentional with letting those around know exactly how we feel and to take time to verbalize our gratitudes and appreciations of them. However; at times, I think we forget that self-love is just as important as the love we show to those around us. Sometimes, it’s easier to focus on saying and doing for others. When is the last time you told yourself that you loved you? Or that you are grateful for and appreciate something in yourself? It can be difficult to both give and receive love from others when we aren’t loving our own self well. 

 

This Valentine’s Day season, make sure you set aside some time to think about and take action towards loving yourself well. Start with just one committed action. What is one thing you could do today to love yourself? It may be a bubble bath, allowing yourself some time to read, or going to bed early for the first time in days. Whatever it is, include in that time some loving self-talk. Let yourself know some things you’re grateful for, and remind yourself that you deserve to be loved!

 

What’s your act of self-love going to be? What are you grateful of in yourself right this moment?

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People Pleasers- Are you one of those?

We are all people-pleasers in some way or another. And that is just fine for the most part. Wanting to be approved of—and loved—is as natural as needingfood and shelter.

But it’s when you try to please everyone that it becomes a problem.

You might be the go-to person for your extended family, co-workers or social circle.  

Are you:

       The guy who will always change their plans at a moment’s notice.

       The girl who will always take on more work and stay late.

The one who will always say yes.

The person who never says no!

 

If this is you, keep reading:

Why Trying to Please Everyone Doesn’t Work

  • You attract people less.

  • You love yourself less.

  • You are seen as untrustworthy.

  • You end up with less confidence.

  • You become more resentful.

  • You fail to please the one person that matters.

The most important reason to stop trying to please everyone has nothing to do with everyone and everything to do with just one person—you.  The more people a pleaser tries to please, the less time they have for their own pursuits, which can leave them feeling bitter.

Learning to be the real you, to stand up for yourself, to say no, is the only cure.

Make a promise to yourself to start today!

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